Friday, October 5, 2012

Mitt Romney Cares About You

Oh he did it/said it, but if you act like it meant something else,  everything will probably turn out fine.

He cares. He said so after all. 

Though I am sure many of you have already heard, as it was obviously a big-fucking-deal piece of recent news, let's start at the beginning of Romney learning to "care" about you (and everyone else, apparently).

Though he now cares, Romney was in fact quoted as saying the following: 

"There are 47% who are with him (Obama), who are dependent on government, who believe that, that they are victims, who believe that government has the responsibility to car for them. Who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing. It's not my job to worry about these people - I'll never be able to convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives"

This was clearly an alarming dose of reality from a man who has a strong chance at winning the US presidential race - He basically told supporters he didn't give a rats ass about a good chunk of the population. Or maybe you.

(Because they won't vote for him anyways - Meanies).

Shockingly, much as the democrats make excuses for Obama breaking campaign promises, republicans made excuses of this golden egg of a speech excerpt. Others took it a step further, and just agreed with him.

I mean, really. I know the major US political parties are republicans and democrats, with some normal and some crazy people mashed up in between, but whether republican or democrat, can we at least get someone who doesn't openly admit, with vitriol mind you, that he doesn't care about half the population? (And if you read into it, probably more, as this was a good day, and he needs the votes).

Once the news came out (I.E. - he got caught being terrible/stupid), he stood by the comments. No apology. And we all knew he would not apologize anyways, because he told us in his autobiography. In fact that is what HE NAMED his autobiography. Mitt doesn't apologize. He isn't into that shit. Especially if the apology is supposed to be directed at someone who has less money than he does.

He apologizes... I mean he doesn't... I mean... Fuck it.
But remember. He cares now. Wait, he does?


As mentioned in one of my News for the Masses updates, in an apparent about-face, following the debate victory from the the night before - Romney apologized for saying earlier in the campaign that he didn't give a shit about 47% of the american people. He was, and I quote Mitt himself "completely wrong".

Mitt continued to elaborate:

"I absolutely believe, however, that my life has shown that I care about 100% and that's been demonstrated throughout my life. And this whole campaign is about the 100%. When I become president, it will be helping the 100%."

Well, there you have it, people of the United States. Even though the guy basically lied his ass off, and continues to lie, and get caught in lies, you now have the go ahead to vote him in. I mean, he said it. He cares about 100 fucking percent of people. 100 fucking percent. It gets no higher.

I'm pretty sure no one else on the planet cares about 100 percent of the people. I hate to take things so literally, but I like to take things this literally, if the opposition is going to take things like the 47% comment so un-fucking-literally, and continue to make excuses for this man. You take the low road, I'll get right down there with you - Fuck it.

Another lie in my book, to go on top of the other lies. And hey, this asshole even said he would not apologize. He was just playing, though.

And we aren't talking about a broken campaign promise. We are talking about covering his ass on a statement saying 47% of the people he is going to lead are worthless to him. Or something. I guess because they won't vote for him? Or maybe, you know what - Let's all be honest. Maybe he just doesn't really like the middle class and below. Maybe he does really think all poor people are pathetic.

Big deal?

Well maybe not. If you hate Obama, are die-hard republican, or really dislike paying taxes (but like roads and schools of course) you were going to vote for him in any case. If he said something this fucking stupid - Or if he didn't. Just like before the debate - Nothing has changed. 

We all know it's impossible to truly care for 100 percent of the people, but you know what, I'm taking it to literal. Wait though - Mitt isn't. He does care. He told you so. And if you're dumb, you might believe him.


Anonymous said...

Great article. The best line: "He cares. He said so after all."

About 10 years ago, I came up with the theory that anyone who says they tell the truth 100% of the time, probably tells the truth about 50% of the time, whereas the most honest people on this planet probably say (accurately) that they tell the truth 95% of the time. It's funny how that can be translated to Romney. (Saying he cares for 100% of the people, but meaning 53%, or more likely, 0.0000001% of the people.)

Finally, I'll leave you with this satirical quote from Saturday Night Live. This is fictional, but loosely based on real life: "After Bain Capital shut down the mill, I was out of work for a year. Finally I got a job at a piano factory at half my old salary. Then Bain bought that company and I got laid off again. Next I worked as a trucker, then Bain came along, bought the trucking company, and I got laid off again. Then I got hired part time at an Orange Julius. Then Bain acquired that franchise and shut it down. Now I know it was the whole franchise, because it was just that one store. Then I said to myself, "What the hell's going on here?" Then finally I, I got a job at a shoe shine stand, under a psuedo name, working just for tips. But Bain somehow found out, bought the business, and moved it to China. That's when I knew, this was not a coincidence."


PittyPatti said...

Wow!!!!! I am voting for PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!! Notice how I capitalized PRESIDENT OBAMA??? He is our president, commander and chief and deserves respect whether people voted for him or not. It saddens me to see how he is so disrespected by so many "so called americans" , oh and of course "die hard cristens" the vile that is spewed out of some of their mouths is so disrepectful it sickens me. I do beleive in God , but I am not a hypacrit like so many of these so called extremists!!!!!!BTW, Mitt's disrepestful behavior at the debates really shored up who Im voting for!!!!

PittyPatti said...

Mitt Romney is "above us all", look how disrespectful he is to "Our President",and yes President Obama is his president, commander and chief too, at least for a few more weeks. (hopefully 4 more years)I am in that "47%" and will definately be voting for President Obama. The lack of respect for him shown by so many so called Americans and Christens makes me sick.

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