Monday, September 17, 2012

N K E - Moe The Chimp, and the story of St. James (K + E)

Years after the Travis the Chimp story,  I decided to pull this old write up I cobbled together and post it here on 

As you know by now, chimps seem to go crazy often so there is more than just one that happens to rip off an arm or two. I have never written anything on Travis, though I felt that story received more media attention than the attack on St. James. This article was originally written years ago. 

The below is a small part of the story of St. James and his chimp Moe, whom as you will see below if you actually read the article, wasn't involved in the attack on his owner (St. James), though is at the center of the story.

Best wishes and regards to St. James.

As mentioned, I went back in the archives and pulled this story. It is one I know much about, but this take on it is better then most. Credit to myself, and the original interview in Esquire. Also, the reviewer of the Esquire article who wrote some of what I have incorporated into this piece - If anyone finds out who this is let me know and I will gladly credit.

The worst part of this story is that Moe sat back and watched while his "Dad" was getting his arms ripped off and shoved up his ass. Now, I guess the best part of the story is also that Moe himself was not attacking and going ape shit, he was just excited to see his old owners and eat some god damn birthday cake - Since, I guess, chimps like cake. 

How about this: Chimps are fucking dangerous.

It is odd that they have such a capacity for intelligence and social interaction. Maybe that is why they are so interesting, that and they fact they are 96% the same as we are, as far as DNA is concerned. Well, needless to say, that 4% apparently makes a damn big difference.

Friends for life.

News heading? Terrible of course: Man loses face and testicle in ape attack at California Sanctuary

Moe the Chimpanzee was taken from a suburban Los Angeles home where he lived with St. James and LaDonna Davis in 1999 after Moe bit off part of a part of a woman’s finger while she was visiting them. Since then, Moe has been living in an animal sanctuary.

Ok, got that part?

Well St. James and LaDonna Davis recently visited the cage in the animal sanctuary where Moe is now living to celebrate his birthday and bring him a cake.

Not that Moe could give a damn about a cake, he is just an ape, but the Davises brought him one nonetheless.

Well while they were standing in front of Moe’s cage with the birthday cake, Buddy and Ollie, two of four chimps in the adjoining cage to Moe’s somehow escaped and immediately started attacking St. James and LaDonna.

Even the two ape babes that were in the cage with Buddy and Ollie, Susie and Bones managed to escape.

Amazingly LaDonna was only bitten on the hand, consequently while trying to protect her husband St. James, who by far got the worst of the attack, which resulted in having his balls literally ripped off as well as suffering massive wounds to his face, body and limbs.

The apes actually chewed off his face. 

Buddy and Ollie were shot dead at the scene but not before the damage had been done. However, the true tragedy of this story is that Moe didn’t lift a finger to help St. James or LaDonna -
He just sat back and watched.
And what a scene he watched.

To give you an idea of how bad St. James got beat down, St. James is going to have to undergo extensive surgery to reattach his nose to his face.

There is no word yet if they are going to be able to reattach his testicles or his foot.

Yes, they also bit off this poor guy’s foot.
When the son-n-law of the sanctuary’s owner finally arrived with his pistol and shot Buddy, Ollie deduced that he was probably next but instead of just running away he grabbed St. James, who at this time is nearly bleeding to death and literally dragged him down the road before he too was shot dead.

Maybe monkey behavioral specialists can shed some light as to why LaDonna was able to walk away with only a bite to her hand while her husband got his dick, his foot and his nose completely torn off and then to add insult to injury dragged down the road by his good foot.

So what do the experts say?

Apparently if you think Chimpanzees are these cute little apes that are a must for any loving home, think again before you put one underneath the Christmas tree for little Timmy.

Ape experts say that they are naturally aggressors and are known to kill rival chimps from neighboring groups, they hunt other primates and are obviously not above opening a can of “you don’t want none of this” on humans too if they forget to bring enough cake for everybody.

"Male chimps are intensely territorial. They defend their territory against any perceived threat," said Craig Stanford, a professor at the University of Southern California who studies primate behavior. "Chimps can be violent at times just as humans can be."

"Chimps can be as violent as humans can be?" Was that a little subliminal jab at the anti-evolution folks in Kansas professor Stanford?

Apparently Moe’s behavior can be at least partially explained as well.

Evidently his mother was killed by a poacher in Africa decades ago and it’s possible there is still some deep seated resentment there that needs to be addressed.

You know you always find people that are those bleeding hearts that want to take on problems like Moe and make things all better.

Well it looks like you can’t make Moe better. You just need to leave Moe alone.

Even after he bit the woman’s finger off the Davises apparently tried to launch a legal battle in the courts to bring Moe back from the sanctuary and back into their home.

That’s one reason why we have laws. To protect people from themselves apparently.

It’s not exactly clear how they feel about apes now in light of this incident. I guess we can always ask St. James after they reattach his nose, his testicles and his foot.


Matt Bowling said...

Shoulda' made a bigger cake.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this post is extremely insensitive, not to mention the fact that you have almost all of the actual details of this story incorrect. Don't credit yourself, honey. Did you even read the Esquire article? I highly doubt it, as your 'take' has almost none of the correct facts included in it. It's quite a long read, maybe you just skimmed it. After reading this, I imagine that too many words in a row probably confuse you and make your head hurt. As far as the Davises are concerned, Moe was their child, and they still regard him as such. They resumed their visits with him as soon as St. James was able, even after all that had happened. The woman who allegedly got her finger 'bitten off,' as you say (even though every credible source where I have read the details of this story just says her finger was 'allegedly' bitten), was told not to put her finger into his cage, and she did it, anyway. He thought that she was giving him food, and the alleged bite was her own fault. It was in no way an 'attack.' He did not sit back and watch happily as his father (for all intents and purposes) was mauled- he was still locked in his cage, and as LaDonna reports, was in shock. The first thing St. James said when he woke up after the attack from his induced coma? 'How's Moe?' Should people have Chimpanzees as pets? No, they shouldn't. Can Chimpanzees be dangerous and aggressive as they get older? Absolutely. Are you an expert on Moe or chimps in general? No, you aren't. At all. Moe was a special and unique case- and he never showed any aggressive behavior. The Esquire article you site as your inspiration points these things out. As far as the Davises and their entire community were concerned (yeah, after Moe was taken away- the community lobbied for him to be returned home, right alongside LaDonna and St. James), Moe never did anything wrong- especially considering that the woman was warned not to stick her god damned finger into the cage and did it, anyway. The irony is that if Moe was allowed to remain with the Davises, this attack would never have happened. Moe was not Travis, and the Davises are not Sandra Herold. Even after all of the pain this couple has endured due to two out of three doors on the aggressive chimps responsible for the mauling's cage remaining unlocked, allowing them to escape, the couple decided not to sue the ranch because they didn't have liability insurance. These two are the epitome of good people to the core, and I'm sure they would be extremely angered reading this abomination you credit as a piece of journalism- especially since Moe went missing, something which seemed to cause St. James just as much agony as the attack did: "I can talk for days about Moe," he says. "I just miss him so much. I've never loved anything as much as I loved Moe." You do not 'know much' about this story. Like I said, it doesn't even sound like you read the article that you reference. Do not applaud yourself or 'credit yourself'- your take is not 'better than most'- it is just about the worst piece on this incident in existence, and there are a lot of bad ones riddled with inaccuracies. Thankfully, though, those writers did not tout themselves as an expert on the case. I fear reading anything else you have written, as you clearly did absolutely no research in regards to this piece, and apparently just made up your own details as you went along. Oh, and you added some nasty language for sock value. Your writing makes you sound like so much of an idiot and asshole that I actually just took the time to let you know, which is absolutely not something that I would normally do. Even if the facts were correct, you would still be a pretty bad, completely unremarkable 'writer.' Good luck with your surely non-existent journalism career, 'Metal Thug.' Don't quit your day job.

Anonymous said...

If you're going to be a "writer", or "journalist", or whatever else you want to claim to be, learn how to do your research. Moe was never in anyway, shape, or form, part of the attack on St. James. He was securely locked in his enclosure. Also, the wife suffered so little because her husband got her underneath a picnic table, ensuring her as much safety as he could. So I'm just curious as to how Moe as the horrible, vicious chimp you have made him out to be, when he never participated in a mauling of any kind. Yes, he bit a woman. She also shoved her arm/hand into his cage after she was told not to do so. So again, how is blaming Moe remotely right?

OH! And St. James was attacked in 2005. Pretty sure Travis the Chimp attacked after that as well.

MT said...

Ok my chimp loving friends, since you are clearly incapable of reading the god damn article, (likely because you're upset I said chimps are dangerous, or something - I'm not really sure) let me correct you on a few things, as both of you kind souls seem to be seeing things I didn't write and followed up on this with bitching at me/correcting me on shit I don't even see written in the article.

1st) Read the god damn article. Clearly, I know Travis the Chimp and Moe are not the same type of situations - READ, PLEASE. I was merely pointing out, that Chimps wreck shit essentially. They are wild animals, after all. You took so much time letting me know how much of an asshole I am (Thank you by the way) you forgot to read the article. Also, I didn't write anything about Moe being part of the attack - In fact it is written that the saddest part was that along with Moe not being part of the attack, he certainly didn't intervene to help his "dad" either - you say he was locked up and shocked. Ok, fine. I am glad he stood there and looked shocked. Good for him. Learn to fucking read before you write, please.

2nd) Honey, go fuck yourself. I wrote this article while taking parts from another gentlemen's work years ago, it was posted on Myspace (lul, Myspace) originally. I uploaded here shortly after this shitty website went online, mainly because I was too fat and lazy to write anything new. Still, most of the facts are true unless you found a lost cache of updates on the web that no one else can seem to find. If you did however, and everything I wrote happens to be wrong - I still don't give a shit, because I don't like you. In fact against my better judgement, I'd leave this article up unchanged and incorrect just for you. I am glad you think your opinion on my admittedly shitty writing skills matters to me, but it doesn't.

3rd) When did I say anything about the Travis episode happening BEFORE the Moe incident? Oh, that's right, I didn't write anything like that. Please, read more books so you can one day comprehend an entire few paragraph, shitty blog post.

4th) I don't give a shit if the article is insensitive, but frankly I didn't think it was to begin with. I even wished St. James well in the beginning. Insensitive to the chimp maybe, I guess. But he is a chimp after all, so I doubt he would care either way. Further more, one problem with western society - people like you get on the internet and spend god knows how long defending chimps on internet forums, instead of doing something productive like studying the works of Mao Zedong, playing Chrono Trigger, or reading

In closing, thanks for reading, please come again.

Anonymous said...

Lol, MT, you have offended the chimp fuckers. Sounds like two coddled white women who don't have enough problems in life. Pussy faggots.

Anonymous said...

I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE MOE SOUND MEAN, THAT WOULD REALLY HURT HIS FEELINGS! No it wouldn't, Moe is a fucking chimp, he wants to eat food and shit. (Actually, that sounds like a decent enough life to me as well.) Lol, it is laughable people really come with this shit "you shouldn't blame Moe!". Sorry bitch, he had a better (human)life then me and still managed to gouge a chicks eye out and bite her face, I guess we should blame her... Who's being insensitive here? Stupid cunts.

Anonymous said...

One problem with western society, white woman with too much time on her hands feeling entitled and righteous on the internet instead of actually doing something to help anyone....or any chimps for that matter as well I bet. You bitches type a good game. Shouldn't you be out trying to cheat on your husbands?

Noneya said...

Moe didn't even attack the man. Two other chimpanzees did!

MT said...

I know.. That's why I pointed that out in the write up. Good eye you have chap!

booya said...

the davis couple should've left him in the wild as a baby chimp or given him to one of the local sanctuarys in that area. no matter how cute and cuddly any wild animal looks as babys they'll grow up to be bigger than the average dog and housecat

Unknown said...

Hey thug love the editorial don't listen to these idiots who think its possible to tame a black mamba keep doing what you do

Katherine Weinstein said...

What a horrendous piece of writing!

Rantings of a Foul Mouthed Prophet said...

Lol a chimp chewed his balls

Bob said...

Wow, one of the worst cobbled together inaccurate piles of garbage I have ever read, why even bother to upload this, honestly you should be embarrassed, just terrible, you would have done better to just make up something than to tell this so inacutately.

MT said...

Hi Bob. I think you meant to say "inaccurately" at the end there. Maybe you can cobble together a spell check on your computer in 2016. Also, fuck you.

MT said...

@rantings of a foul mouthed prophet - Haha. My nigga.

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